So it appears I took a hiatus (it took me a couple of times to spell that correctly, so for good measure I put it incorrectly in the post title, keeps me grounded…just like J.Lo. is still just Jenny from the Block). I didn’t mean to take a break, life just got in the way of writing. There were a couple of adventures during that time, notably taking the kids to Nebraska to visit my family. We had a great time, it was classically windy and unbearably hot, which was a nice break from Seattle’s same old 65 and overcast. I even got sunburned! And it was just me and the 2 kids, the Trophy Husband had to do some “work” thing that he claims to do everyday. I’m not sure what that’s about, but I’m thinking it has something to do with not doing the kids’ morning routine, school drop offs, grocery shopping, witching hour and then preparing dinner. But get this, he gets paid to not do all those things! Pretty sweet deal.
Being back home over the summer gave me a huge sense of nostalgia. It always does. Even the smell reminds me of summers in high school. And it’s funny because when I moved back there briefly as an adult I didn’t have that nostalgic aspect as much since I was living a grown up life there (note, not a mature life). But now that I live somewhere else, going home always feels different. I have a desire to drive by old crushes’ houses, to try and get into a dive bar with a fake ID, and to sit at the pool all day until it’s time to cruise around the neighborhood looking for something fun to do (to only end up in some deserted parking lot drinking Keystone Light – if lucky – and calling it the “cubby hole” so it seems like an actual destination rather than a sad result of being 16 in Nebraska).
But all those memories and feelings freaked me out because I started to get the sense of how old I am. And then it hit me, I’m nearing the mid-life crisis age. I’ve already been through the quarter-life crisis where you’re 25 and freaking out because you are out of college, expected to support yourself and you still don’t know what you want to do when you grow up. But that’s like a walk in the park compared to the crisis where you realize you are grown up and if you aren’t doing what you want to do, it’s likely too late to start trying because you have the responsibilities of a job, spouse, kids, house and car. And at that moment, I understood what all those men were going through when I turned 15 and all the dads started to get Porsches, Rogaine and girlfriends. I feel camaraderie with them. And though I don’t need Rogaine or a girlfriend (although I wouldn’t mind a wife…), I kind of want the Porsche. But in my defense, I really want the Cayenne which is still an SUV and extremely practical…extremely. Okay, I want a Maserati convertible too. Secretly, I’m a 40 year old man in mentality right now. That’s why I need to upgrade to Trophy Wife, she gets the SUV and the Maserati.
I’m not foolish enough to think that nostalgia will not be present throughout my entire life. Any time I look back on college, or my 20’s and then eventually my 30’s and so on, I will be nostalgic. What I’m hoping though is that means it was a life worth living with some really fun moments.
So anyway, we were in Nebraska for a week and now I want a Maserati.