For my own amusement, I sometimes encourage my children to speak with a foreign accent or different American dialect. We dabble in many varieties. We kept it close to America at first and went southern. That was mostly driven by my daughter who one day came into my bedroom and unsolicited, said, “Why, I do declare, Mommy!” I just knew at that moment, she was on to something big, there was talent and possibility. She handed me a golden opportunity and I couldn’t let that pass us by; as a blue ribbon wife and mother, I had a duty to this family.

After southern, we focused on the English accent. That was driven by the excessive watching of Mary Poppins (and that was driven by me because it’s my favorite movie). I love everything about Mary Poppins. And for the longest time I was SO mad that she never responded to the letter I sent her in June of ’84. I think I was more hurt than anything else. But obviously as I grew up and matured it became clear that of course Mary Poppins didn’t receive my letter and ignore it…how absurd…my mom just didn’t mail it.

So I think we are ready to move on to a new accent. I feel like we should go Canadian. NOT French Canadian yet, that is way too advanced! Just Canadian. We probably should have started with Canada because it really gives you a good basis without being too intimidating. I already love saying “aboot” and “soory” so it only makes sense to attack that one head on. I’m really hoping to find some good clips of “You Can’t Do That On Television,” ones where Alanis Morissette has Zack Morris’ hairstyle without the frosted tips.

Shout out to Mark-Paul Gosselaar for confirming my heterosexuality in 1989 (and for probably confirming some other people’s homosexuality).