Pre-eating.

I feel like this post doesn’t even need text because the title is awesome. But that’s stupid.

So this weekend I went to my 4th wedding of the year (3rd being pregnant, aka, sober). This  was the wedding of one of the best people in my life, a friend from law school (“J”). In the words of J, I was either going to be fun or not regardless of the drinking. I have no idea how to take that, but it has nothing to do with any sort of emotional roller coaster I ride every day. And whether anyone else thinks this or not, I was fun! Many shenanigans were had despite my sober state. However, due to my sober state, I remember the shenanigans and can bring them to light for those who created the chaos, so that’s a plus!

But back to my point, pre-eating. This is awesome. So 6 of us were in the car on the way to the rehearsal dinner when I opened my purse and took out a Quaker Oats Chewy chocolate chip granola bar. For some reason, I crave these during every pregnancy. As I am eating, my friend “G” says, “Ah, the pre-eating.” I looked at her in astonishment and said, “Oh my goodness, whatever that means, I love it and want to use it!”

Turns out G’s cousin was pregnant with her first child when she called G and said, “I finally understand the pre-eating.” G wasn’t sure what she was talking about; then her cousin explained, “You and I were on our way to a family brunch when you were pregnant and you pulled out some food and started eating. All I could think was, why on earth are you eating as we are on our way to brunch. But now that I’m pregnant, I totally understand. You were pre-eating because you are always hungry when pregnant regardless of when the meal is.”

And that’s exactly what I was doing on the way to the rehearsal dinner which was going to immediately include chips and guacamole as you walked through the door. In no way did my pre-eating hinder the actual eating. If anything, it helped prepare my stomach for the gluttony it was about to experience.

Now, pre-eating is not specific to pregnancy. I’m sure there are countless situations in which people pre-eat, such as low blood sugar, tendency to be hangry (yes, hybrid, let’s move on) or weight management (you know, those people that fill up on a huge salad or carrots before going out so they don’t binge on the meal – and if you are that person, you are closer to a trophy wife on the spectrum than a blue ribbon wife, just fyi, because as noted above, BRW pre-eating prepares the stomach). It just so happens that the label “pre-eating” was derived from a pregnancy situation.

I’ve got to be honest, I couldn’t be more excited about this new term in my life. That, and a statement I overheard at the wedding by the drunkest guest, “I spilled a drunk drink on you.” Both epic moments that will continue to live on for my amusement and I’m assuming the amusement of Trophy Husband. (Note: always assume the amusement of the spouse when you are a BRW, it helps, I promise.)

Sidebar: Advice when attending a wedding with a pregnant friend – don’t expect her to dance, but if she does, do not make fun of her…even if she pulls a muscle in her groin.

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