Droppin’ status, pounds and other things.

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted! Mostly due to what I’m referring to as the asshole virus…you can figure that one out. I’m not not above getting sick every so often, but this bout was weird. Usually, a stomach bug lasts like 1-2 days. I’m going on day 4. But it’s doing amazing things for my weekly weigh-in at Weight Watchers.

However, I have not had my Starbucks in 4 days, which is not doing amazing things for anyone around me. Oh, and the fact that I love to eat and that’s the one thing I’m unable to do right now. In 4 days I have had 6 pieces of toast, 10 crackers and two bowls of chicken noodle soup, accompanied by a gallon of Gatorade. I feel fully prepped for a colonoscopy without having to drink the liquid metal.

I have been less than blue ribbon for sure around here. If there was a status above trophy, TH would earn it. He’s essentially been taking care of everything, including me, and he even hosted a barbecue at our house for his work friends. Meanwhile, it is not lost on me that I’ve been bed-ridden during what happens to be the most beautiful weekend and week in Seattle thus far in 2014. It’s also not lost on me that I heard the dog throwing up somewhere in the house (as I mention in my About section) while I was indisposed and I have yet to locate the scene 4 hours later.

In other news, I was in bed while 2.0 (who has been a self-imposed vegetarian since he started solids) asked TH to make him a cheeseburger with a fried egg on top. HOLY SHIT! That’s awesome, it’s like one of my favorite foods in the world and 2.0 ate it. When I came down and asked him about it, he said he loved it, only next time could he have it without the burger part….and scene.


What the kale.

As John Updike said,

The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere else have to be, in some sense, kidding.

I feel the same way about people who say they love kale.

What the kale?




Midlife crisis.

TH needed a new car. He’s 37 years old, been married 9 years, just had a 3rd kid.

In my mind, I’m thinking, “Here we go, midlife crisis time.”

How our dads did midlife crisis:


How I would do midlife crisis:

mas convert

How TH does midlife crisis:

FJ front

Tell me, how would you do midlife crisis?

The mother of all days.

Last year on the mother of all days, I found out I was pregnant with 3.0. Pretty good way to spend Mother’s Day…freaked out about downloading a 3rd version of the TH/BRW program. But now I get the joy of celebrating with the little love that she is. However, Mother’s day proposes some issues for me (What? No way!).

First, TH asked what I wanted to do for Mother’s Day. I explained that it’s a tough day because if they spend the whole day doing everything I want, letting me sleep in, breakfast in bed, Starbucks in bed, lunch in bed, Starbucks round 2 in bath, dinner in bed, then they are just giving me a taste of the good life…a utopia surely never to exist. So he responded, “Ok, we’ll just leave you alone, grumpy.” Yes! Leave me the fuck alone…now THAT’S a day in honor of a mother. So I said, “That sounds great.” Then he realized his mistake: “No, no, I mean, we’ll just treat it like any other day if you don’t want us to make a big fuss and you’ll be a scrooge about it.” UGH! “Any other day” sounds TERRIBLE.

Second, cards. C’mon. Buying and then actually sending greeting cards is on top of my list of “Worst Errands Ever.” First of all, there are so many to sift through. If you are actually taking the time to get a card, you might as well get a good one, requiring you to look at every. single. card. The task is so annoying and time consuming that you end up only getting for the holiday/birthday at the time, when really, you should invest the whole day and get all cards for the year just to avoid having to go any other time to do it. I’ve caught on to at least buying more cards than I need so I have some leftovers for the next time I’m in a pinch. And yes, I even have this awesome little thing:

greeting cards


But you are so sick of being there after going through all the grandma, aunt, sister, mother in law, blah blah blah cards that you gotta get out of there asap.

Well, if this errand is daunting for me (aka someone who others would argue has “nothing to do all day”), I can’t imagine what it’s like for a spouse who works. Then again, when I got to Target to do this, I am usually with child(ren), increasing the likelihood of spending more money and time at the store while also listening to the background music of “I WANT THAT TOY, I REALLY WANTED THAT TOY….SCREEEEAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM. Oh that card makes music. I WANT THAT CARD, I WANT THAT CD! I WANT TO WATCH FROOOOOOZEEEEEEEEN!!!!!!!” So to help a brotha (aka TH) out, I decided to go ahead and get my own cards this year. But the only one I liked was a “from the dog” card (because it had a Westie on it).

miles card


So I got that and called it a day. TH signed it from our dog and my Mother’s Day greetings are complete. But now, I gotta still sign the cards for everyone else (and of course that means the kids have to sign their names…or at least I need to hold the pen in my non-dominant hand and sign their names for them), address, stamp and send the cards with enough time for them to get there Saturday; because how worthless was the whole task if they get there after the day!

But even I know getting a card in the mail amongst the annoying bills and junk brings a smile to anyone’s face. Especially when it’s in honor of being a parent. Sigh. And so it goes, as it will for every holiday and birthday hereinafter.


R u nursing?

My response to the always appropriate question of “Are you nursing?”

“Of course! My husband insisted. But I’m formula feeding the baby.”

Liebster Award.


Leapin’ Liebster! Thank you so much to Lynn at Wanderlynn for nominating my blog for a Liebster Award. It’s so much fun to be part of the blogosphere despite my obvious dislike of that actual word (Hybrids). It means a lot to me that Lynn nominated me. Check out her blog, it’s honest, interesting and entertaining. I look forward to when she writes new posts and I can’t wait for a post on all the fun terms and language she has picked up while living in England. She would make a nice dialect coach to my kids! (Why, I do declare!)

So here’s how the nominations works:

– You must link back to the person who nominated you.
– You must answer the 11 questions given by the person who nominated you.
– You pick up to 11 nominees with under 200 followers (or 500 depending on which rules you follow) to answer your questions.
– You cannot nominate the person who nominated you.
– You must tell the nominees that they have been nominated by you.

And now, I present my answer’s to Lynn’s questions:

1.   What is the bravest thing you’ve ever done? Getting married. I did once get in a fight with a TSA agent, that was pretty ballsy of me. And I jumped on stage at a Samples concert…brave? I choose getting married because it involved me getting over a fear. My fear of commitment and the uncertainty of forever. I’m a very indecisive person and I always need all options researched and then some before making a decision. So when TH asked me to marry him, I was making the decision to choose one thing for the rest of my life. I was full of questions that in no way could be answered, such as will he be a good husband, a good dad, will I be enough for him for the rest of his life, will he be enough for me? I’m glad I abandoned my neurosis for just a moment to say yes, I just hope he doesn’t ever realize that he’s out of my league and he could have had landed the shiny trophy version over the blue ribbon.

2.   What’s a motto or quote that truly inspires you? There are two, but I’ll only elaborate on one. First: Be bold and courageous, when you look back on your life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did. That is self explanatory. Second: Show up for my life, not my death. This was mentioned in my most recent post. Basically, this quote, which derives from my mom, reminds me to live life, show up for the people I love, be a genuine friend and never let words of love or inspiration go without being said. It’s sort of a live like you are dying motto.

3.   You’re visited by ambassadors of a small tribe that has had no contact with outsiders. What do you do to share your culture with them? My first thought is food. Remember, I’m Jewish. But the reason I choose some sort of meal or repast is because it represents my “village.” I will have my closest friends and family over with them and sit at a huge table, sharing in stories and brisket. My personal culture is about the village around me (even if that village doesn’t live where I live). I hope that while noshing on noodle kugel, the ambassadors will hear stories of family, tradition, holidays and history and this will be sufficient for them to understand who I am and why.

4.   Who, out of anyone who has ever lived, would you like to take a day trip with? Where would you go? My maternal grandpa, “Gramps.” I would love to spend one day with him as I am now so he can see who I grew up to really be. And I’d love to ask all the questions I was too young to think of when he was alive. We would spend the day in Orange County, California, sit on the cliffs of Newport Beach or walk along the sand and have a picnic (we’d sip on Dr. Brown’s Cream Soda and eat corned beef on rye and he’d get mad at me for putting mayonnaise on mine, telling me it was against the Jewish religion) and we would watch the sun set.

5.   Which of your blog posts is your favorite? This is a hard one to answer! I think it would have to be Khakis…and a Polo in conjunction with Eat your cheerio (since they kind of go together) because they were some of my first posts to kickstart this whole process. When I go back and reread them I still laugh out loud. They represent who I am, how I think and how I view the situations around me and write about them.

6.   Why do you blog? It feeds my soul. I blog because it’s one of the few things I’ve found that is solely for me. Since becoming a mom, my days are busy, filled with errands, activities, appointments, meetings and TALKING to or for the people in my family or my community. It took me awhile (and some good guidance from my therapist) to realize that I need to incorporate things for myself in my daily life. I got to a point where my daily Starbucks was the only thing I did “for me.” In Weird Blog Science I touch on my blogging history a little more, but what I don’t talk about is how important writing this blog has become to my sanity.

7.   What is one thing you never anticipated about the life you’re living? That I would live so far from family and friends and that all my favorite people would be scattered across the country. I always thought that even though you go away for college, you travel, take on new professional experiences and explore life, you always had a home base to come back to and settle down in with all the people you love. Because of all those experiences, I’ve been lucky to accumulate some wonderful people in my life. But unfortunately, those people don’t live in one single place. Even my immediate family doesn’t live in the same city anymore. I yearn for family and community now that I have kids. Raising a family is hard and you truly need a village. I’ve learned that at my age, it’s harder and takes longer to accumulate that village. Not only did I not know that, but I never expected to desire it or need it as much as I do.

8.   When was the last time you laughed so hard that you cried? I mean, could’ve been last night. But actually it was last Friday night while out to dinner with two of my best friends (one who I’m lucky lives 10 minutes from me and the other was in town for work and lives on the other side of the country…see #7). There may have been a few glasses of Pinot Gris helping along that night but I think I cry from laughing on a weekly basis. Though I’m able to amuse myself, I find that the people around me are just as amusing, providing many opportunities for me to pee my pants from laughing. And if it’s been awhile, all I need to do is watch an episode of Impractical Jokers and I’m a goner.

9.  Describe a perfect morning. Makes me smile just thinking of this. A perfect morning is waking up early on a Sunday in the summer (after some Sunday cuddles with the family), when the sun is out but it’s still a little chilly, and people are either sleeping off the night before or at church, so the streets are empty. I take a walk (in my utopia this walk would be along the beach) to the nearest coffee shop and sit outside just observing everything around me, sipping my hot mocha, being silent and still.

10.   What is the most beautiful place you have ever visited? Australia’s Great Barrier Reef, specifically Whitehaven Beach. It was magical. I could waste my life away there.


11.   What book will you never get tired of reading? The Harry Potter Series. I can’t wait to read it to my kids and experience the adventures all over again!

And now, I nominate:

Here’s What Works

This Is The Corner We Pee In

A Little Fleurish

And here are my 11 questions for you wonderful bloggers!

1. First and foremost, Why do you blog?

2. Which of your blog posts is your favorite?

3. If you could choose a super power, what would it be and why? (Or do you already have one and what is it?)

4. What’s one of your biggest fears?

5. Where would you retire if money was not an issue?

6. What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

7. What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever given someone else?

8. If you could be or do anything in the world (any “profession” or whatever with no regards to training, money, time, family responsibilities etc.) what would you be or do?

9.  What movie do you never get tired of watching?

10. What is one quality or characteristic about yourself that you truly admire and respect?

11. Where is one place you’ve always wanted to travel to?